


love is how these ideas came to be

by sofarsoperfect



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sharing a Bed, a little bit, i guess this might qualify as, we're just fluffy on this day, we're not spicy this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24245695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sofarsoperfect/pseuds/sofarsoperfect
Summary: Renjun shook his head but it was a lie. She didn’t scold him for it though. She knew Renjun loved this story.“Well,” she began, getting to her feet. She picked her son up and sat down in his seat, Renjun seated on her lap. Renjun cuddled right into his mother’s side as she wrapped her arms around his middle. “A long, long time ago, people used to look for the person they shared a word with. So many years ago, even before I was born, before even your grandmother was born.” Renjun’s eyes widened with childhood wonder. “There was a couple, a pair of people who both carried the word love on their skin and it was said when they met the world stood still. Their love was the purest love, the kind of love that no one, not even death could break. It was said the world mourned when he took them, the two of them, together. Never again has there been such a love as theirs for no two people who shared the word have met since that time.”
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 11
Kudos: 150





	love is how these ideas came to be

**Author's Note:**

> for once, we are not spicy. just have some fluff during these trying times.
> 
> *unbeta'd

When you’re born, your word develops over the first five to ten years of your life. You’re born a completely blank slate but as you age your word slowly appears, usually becoming fully visible and legible by the time you reach the age of ten, usually sooner. There were a lot of words for it, your soul mark, the word of your body, your true word. All of them inconsequential considering no one has yet to come up with a reason as to why it happens. Why does everyone get a word, and why do they, usually, only share it with one other person. 

There were anomalies. Groups of up to ten people have been found to share a word. It’s not impossible, just rare to see it happen. Usually, people called the person you share your word with your soulmate. Your one. The person you’re meant to be with, for one reason or another. A silly thing when words were known to vary from beautiful things like protection and integrity to loss and shame. 

Renjun had wasted away what he was sure accumulated to days of his life looking at his own word. Tattooed right across his chest, under the left side of his collarbone was his word. His mother said he was special, his father too. Rare, almost impossible was it that people got this word. It was myth, it was legend how rare this word showed up on a person’s skin. 

Love. But more accurately, 사랑. 

Two characters in a language he did not know, would not know until he got a little bit older. His mother told him time and time again how crazy they thought it was that their family, a family that had left Korea generations ago, was finally carrying a Korean word on their skin. And not just any word, a word that carried as much weight as love. As 사랑. 

“You’re special, Renjun,” his mother explained to him, Renjun sitting at the table while his mother bustled around the kitchen making dinner. “A special one. You know they say ‘love’ is the rarest word of them all,” she told him, looking over at her tiny son with a smile. “Almost never do people get the word love.” 

“Then why do I have it?” Renjun asked. He was eight at the time and his word had already cleared up enough that it was legible. It wouldn’t finish darkening until he was nine but it was hard to miss such obvious characters. 

“I don’t know,” his mother told him honestly. She set the pans on low and walked over to her son, getting down on her knees in front of him. She took his hands in hers and smiled at him sweetly. “I don’t know why. No one does. Words are… given to us. They’re gifts and you can either follow them or you can ignore them. Your life is yours to live, Renjun.” His mother insisted, something Renjun always remembered. “Your father and I don’t have the same word.” And they didn’t. 

Renjun’s mother had the word ‘care’ written in Chinese on the back of her hand while his father sported the word ‘cherish’ on the inside of his forearm in Korean. 

“But that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other,” she reminded him. “But if you decide that it matters, that you want to find the person that also carries the word love above their heart,” she told him, lifting a hand to poke where the mark was on his chest, Renjun squirming away with a little giggle making his mother laugh as well, “then that’s okay too. Love is such a beautiful word and it means so much. I told you the legend of your word, right?” 

Renjun shook his head but it was a lie. She didn’t scold him for it though. She knew Renjun loved this story. 

“Well,” she began, getting to her feet. She picked her son up and sat down in his seat, Renjun seated on her lap. Renjun cuddled right into his mother’s side as she wrapped her arms around his middle. “A long, long time ago, people used to look for the person they shared a word with. So many years ago, even before I was born, before even your grandmother was born.” Renjun’s eyes widened with childhood wonder. “There was a couple, a pair of people who both carried the word love on their skin and it was said when they met the world stood still. Their love was the purest love, the kind of love that no one, not even death could break. It was said the world mourned when he took them, the two of them, together. Never again has there been such a love as theirs for no two people who shared the word have met since that time.”

“Having the word love means that you are love, bǎobèi,” She insisted. “You carry the purest kind of love in your heart, and no matter who you decide to give it to, choose only someone who will cherish it. Because it’s a privilege, my love, to be loved by you.” 

Renjun liked to think these tall tales, and that’s what they were, something he brushed off now at the age of 20, were a good deal of the reason he was the way he was. His mother and father loved him, reminded him every day of how it important it was that he love himself. He was stronger because of them, strong enough to stand on these stages and work himself to the bone in practice rooms and push himself to his limits every second of every day. 

Your word means something as an idol, but only enough that it means you have to cover it. 

Renjun got lucky, his placed in such a manner that it was easy to hide. Others he knew weren’t so lucky. Sicheng had to wear a thick wristband almost all the time just to avoid fans taking photos of it. Mark would go in for makeup touch-ups at every turn to make sure the word written across the base of his neck wouldn’t be seen.

And while he would’ve preferred to blame it on the company, something he’s done many times before and with absolutely no remorse given the way they’ve treated them in his past, he can’t. He knows it’s not just the company that prefers this but the utter insistence of some fans to treat them as possessions, like things to own rather than people. To know that they carry words that aren’t there own makes drives them even further out of their grasp and the idea that they might replicate their words to try and get closer, it makes Renjun sick. So he doesn’t say anything when he adjusts his shirt to sit more fully over his shoulders and collarbones, certain that it won’t reveal the word he used to wear so proudly. 

But it’s not just that. 

Renjun has always known there was a chance. Ever since he became an idol he always knew that there was a chance that he’d run into someone on the street, in training, behind the scenes, another idol, anyone who would share his exact same word. It was rare but not impossible, especially since having moved to Korea that someone in this country would also carry those two characters he knew the meaning of before he knew anything else in Korea. 

He just hates it had to be like this. That he had to find out by stumbling into the locker room at the gym, a place frequented by more of older trainees than himself, only 15 and still too scrawny to gain proper muscle mass. He had been looking for Kun, gotten turned around gone looking for anyone who could be of help in his endeavor. So he stumbled into the gym locker room and stopped short when he saw it. 

He didn’t know him at the time. He didn’t know who the guy with the shaggy dark hair and downturned eyes and pouty lips could be. He just noticed the mark, the word written across his chest in clear as day hangul that said that Renjun had finally found him. In the most inconvenient places, inconvenient of times, and he almost tripped over himself on his way out the door. 

“Hey, you looking for someone?” He asked, the boy who tugged his shirt on quickly and then walked towards Renjun. He was thankful it was out of sight but far, far from out of mind. 

“My… my, uh… hyung, uh, Kun. Qian Kun.” 

“Oh. He’s probably back at the dorm,” he replied, Korean stable but heavy in his mouth like his own accent caused it to tumble in a strange way over his tongue. “I can take you back if you want?” 

“I think I can get there myself. Thank you, though,” Renjun said, bowing in an awkward manner. He left the room quickly afterword, heart still pounding in his chest, no idea what the universe had just given him a glimpse of. 

His name was Johnny. He was from Chicago, IL, USA, and was Korean. He had trained there for at least five years longer than Renjun but ended up debuting after him by at least a handful of months. Renjun didn’t know him very well for a lot of reasons, their age difference, their different units, the way their Korean sometimes didn’t match all the way whenever they would greet each other. It took at least a year before Renjun felt comfortable around him and it only took another month and a lot of training together for Black on Black before he realized he had a crush on the man who carried the same word as him. 

Renjun hadn’t told anyone about Johnny. He didn’t really tell anyone about his own word, the guys from Dream finding out due entirely to sharing a dorm. Well, sans Mark but Renjun didn’t really want Mark to know anyway. He had a bad habit of not being able to keep anything a secret and if Johnny found out before Renjun told him, Renjun was pretty sure he would be packing his bags and flying back to China that night. 

And it was fine. It was totally and completely fine. He didn’t even see Johnny that much and when he did Johnny was usually doting over Hyuck or Jeno or Chenle and it was easy to not think about it. The units worked together infrequently and Renjun had complete control over his feelings and his affections and it was fine. Everything would be fine. 

And it was. For awhile. 

Renjun was pretty sure he was watching his world crumble to his feet when Johnny stumbled in the choreography. Johnny didn’t stumble in the choreography. He was always on point, always knew exactly where he was supposed to be and when to be there. Renjun had always looked up to him for that reason so he tried to push down the panic in his throat when he watched his hyung misstep for a second time. 

He missed his queue towards the bridge and Renjun lifted a hand to his face, pressing it against his forehead. Johnny wasn’t okay. He continued until the very end, finishing the performance strong but Renjun could see the way he was staggering afterword. The others tried to make it seem less obvious but Jaehyun and Yuta were both keeping close to his sides and Johnny was almost stumbling off the stage. 

Renjun knew he wasn’t the only one who noticed Johnny’s troubles when he and the rest of Dream went to the 127 dorm and found Kun, Ten and Sicheng already inside it, waiting for their other members. It was going to be a while yet until the others would show up, they still had a lot of waiting around to do until they were cleared to leave the music show but Renjun felt a little bit better knowing Johnny was with the others and he was going to be waiting with Ten, Kun and Sicheng for their arrival. 

“I’ll make tea. Help me, Renjun?” Kun said, leaving the living room to get to the kitchen. Renjun followed after him, crossing his arms over his chest as he did so in an effort to not shake as badly. Kun started pulling their things out of the cupboards, Renjun leaning against the counter as Kun retrieved the green tea from the coffee and tea cupboard, setting the kettle down on the stove. 

“He’ll be fine,” Kun stated but he didn’t look up as he tossed the green tea on the counter. Renjun picked it up, turning it over in his hands while Kun grabbed the kettle again. “I’m sure it’s just exhaustion, he’ll be fine, Renjun.” 

Renjun hated that Kun was so perceptive, had already picked up what was wrong. 

Kun knew about Renjun’s situation and it was only because he managed to put two and two together after Johnny’s abs debut during Kick It! Constantly performing in fits that revealed his whole chest. The word high up by his collarbone had been covered up by makeup and bandages the whole promo but Kun knew. It wasn’t hard to figure out, the way Renjun refused to watch the video more than once, didn’t watch the live stages. Kun sat him down and talked to him about it during the promo, Renjun wishing Kun wouldn’t be such a big brother all the time but being powerless to lie to him. 

“Has he been eating?” Renjun asked, softly. Kun set the, now full, kettle down on the stove, turning it on. 

“What?” 

“Has he been eating?” Renjun asked, lifting his eyes to look at Kun. Kun looked away, and it wasn’t so much as a concession as Kun not knowing the answer. “He said he didn’t eat much while doing Kick It! promo to maintain his figure. He didn’t even drink water for three days, he gave up coffee. Has anyone been making sure he’s been eating?” 

“They might have him on a diet,” Kun admitted. “I don’t know though.” 

“This fucking company,” Renjun mumbled, spitting the words. “They’d rather watch their idols end up in a hospital than be a little bit less than perfect.” 

“Renjun-” 

“It’s true,” Renjun insisted.

By the time everyone else came in they had already drained the first kettle of water, Kun having put a second one on. Renjun had moved to the window, keeping a distance between himself and the others lest he accidentally let his temper get the better of him. He had gotten better about it the older he got but his patience was thin, waiting for the other to come home and not knowing what kind of condition Johnny was in. 

“Oh, goodness,” Taeyong said as soon as he got in. Renjun turned to look, Taeyong leading the way, followed by Jaehyun and Yuta keeping a careful eye on Johnny, Doyoung hovering nearby as well. Johnny walked in with a slight hitch in his step, Ten making room on the sofa for him to sit down. The others trickled in behind them, Jungwoo holding onto Taeil and Mark and Hyuck closing the door behind them. 

“There’s a kettle on in the kitchen,” Kun informed them, Jungwoo offering to help with it. Kun wrapped an arm around Jungwoo, who was clearly shaken from the fact that Johnny was unwell. Renjun turned around to survey the scene but didn’t approach just yet. 

“I’m fine,” Johnny assured the room as a whole but Yuta scoffed, Taeyong shaking his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I am! I’m just tired. I haven’t been sleeping very well. I’m sure once I get some sleep I’ll be feeling better.” 

“You scared us today,” Taeil pointed out, Johnny looking away from everyone. “Everyone is here because they’re worried. You have to be more careful about your routine, what if that happens again tomorrow? Or worse?” 

“I’m being careful,” Johnny insisted. “I’ll be fine after some sleep.” 

“Did you eat?” Renjun finally asked and that seemed to catch everyone’s attention, half of them surprised to see Renjun was even there. “Did you eat, before the show? Did you eat at all today?” He asked, walking slowly towards him. 

“Of course,” Johnny replied. “Of course I ate. I didn’t eat before the show but you know I don’t prefer to-” 

“Did you drink water? Have you been drinking water?” 

“I’ve been… trying to. What’re you getting at, Renjun?” Johnny asked. 

“You’ve not been eating like normal, you’re eating less. You’re working out more, you’re not drinking enough water, it’s not good for you. It’s no wonder that happened, you’re not taking care of yourself.” 

“Yes, I am,” Johnny retorted. “I’m taking fine care of myself. That’s not your concern, Renjun,” Johnny pointed out.

“He’s right,” Taeyong said, quietly. “You’re not eating enough, because of that stupid diet. You’re in the gym all the time, you and Jaehyun,” he said, eyes cutting to Jaehyun shyly before focusing on Johnny again. “You’re not resting like you should, it’s putting a lot of stress on you.” 

“I’ll cut back in the gym,” Johnny said, reaching a placating hand towards Taeyong, resting it gently on Taeyong’s wrist. “I’ll try to rest more, but there’s no negotiating on the diet, and you know what happens if I start drinking too much water.” 

“There are more important things than your abs, Johnny,” Renjun stated and Yuta turned to look at him. 

“Yah, be more respectful,” he scolded, but it only got a scoff and an eye roll out of Renjun. 

“Yeah? That’s what you’re worried about when Johnny almost hit the fucking floor when you got off that stage. We all saw it,” Renjun pointed out. “These fucking diets are gonna kill you and you’re not even gonna admit to that?” 

“That’s enough,” Johnny demanded, looking at Renjun. “Being upset isn’t an excuse to speak to us like that.” 

“Like what? Because it seems to be the only way you’ll listen,” Renjun insisted. 

“Renjun-” Sicheng tried, reaching for him but Renjun pulled away from his hand. 

“I get that I’m just one of the kids around here but you know I’m right,” he stated before going for the door. 

“Renjun!” Mark tried but Renjun only wrenched the door open, slamming it shut behind him. Sicheng sighed, Taeil resting a hand on his shoulder to rub it gently. 

“What the fuck has gotten into him?” Doyoung mumbled. “He’s not like that.” 

“Brat,” Yuta mumbled. 

“C’mon, you know he’s not like that, hyung,” Jaehyun said, reaching out to Yuta. “You think Kun’ll talk to him?” 

“I should talk to him,” Johnny sighed. 

“You should rest,” Ten pointed out but Johnny shook his head. 

“I shouldn’t have spoken to him like that. I know he was upset and I just made it worse,” Johnny pointed out. He got to his feet, Taeyong taking his hands to help him. “If I’m not back in an hour… I passed out in the stairwell,” Johnny mumbled, getting a snort of a laugh from Jeno and Hyuck. “I’ll be back soon.” 

“Don’t be out late, you need to sleep tonight,” Doyoung reminded him. Johnny nodded, patting him gently on the shoulder before heading out to try and catch up to Renjun. 

Renjun hated being in the building when he needed his space. This was a well-known fact between all members of NCT so Johnny checked as many places as he could before he started getting tired, his exhaustion starting to catch up. He didn’t want to admit Renjun had a point as to why he was so tired but it was hard to refute when he felt so weak. 

He was thankful to find him out on the walkway between the buildings, sitting on the steps on the walkway, arms wrapped around himself as he looked out through the bars in the railing. Johnny gently let the door shut behind him, walking up to sit next to him on the stairs. Renjun didn’t even look at him, curled into a tight ball against the railing. 

“Renjun-” 

“Don’t. You shouldn’t even be out here,” Renjun told him. “Go back to the dorm. It’s getting late and you need your sleep so you can perform tomorrow,” he said. 

“Then who would talk to you and make sure you go back to the dorms tonight?” Johnny asked. Renjun shrugged a shoulder but his gaze remained fixed on the distance. “Renjun, c’mon. I’m sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean to scold you. I know you’re just worried about me.” 

“You’re not gonna listen so why are you even saying it,” Renjun pointed out. Johnny let out a sigh, shoulders dropping. “Just go back to the dorms, Johnny hyung. I’ll head up later. I’ll apologize to Yuta hyung tomorrow, I promise.” 

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Johnny admitted. “Renjun,” he rested a hand on Renjun’s shoulder but he shook him off, turning more firmly away from him. “Renjun, don’t do this. This isn’t like you. What’s got you so upset?” 

Renjun swallowed and lifted a hand, Johnny watching the way he ran it over his cheek. He moved in front of Renjun, Renjun making an attempt to hide his face entirely in his shoulder when he did. Johnny was faster, though, reaching out to his cheek, turning his face to wipe away the tears on his lashes and cheeks. 

“Why are you crying?” He asked. “Don’t cry, Injunnie. What’s wrong? You know you can tell me.” 

“You scared me,” Renjun mumbled, voice thick. “It’s stupid but you scared me tonight. I thought something was really wrong and when I started thinking about it and realized it was just your stupid diet I got so mad. What if something had actually happened tonight, what if you fell, or tripped over one of the other members or someone else got hurt because of a misstep in the choreo?” Renjun asked, voice tipping towards frantic. Johnny hushed him gently, lifting his hand to run his fingers through Renjun’s hair. 

“It’s okay. I’m fine, and nothing happened,” Johnny insisted. “I’m okay.” He continued to run his fingers through Renjun’s hair until he stopped breathing so quickly and his tears slowed down. Johnny wiped at his cheeks again, nose and cheeks gone all rosy from his crying and eyes red-rimmed.

“Ugh, I’m sorry,” Renjun mumbled, rubbing at his cheeks with his too-long hoodie sleeves. “I didn’t mean to get like that.” 

“It’s okay,” Johnny assured him. “But why did you get so upset? Not that I don’t appreciate it but you never get like this for the others. Kun and Sicheng and Chenle, maybe, but not me.” 

Renjun had been caught and he lowered his eyes, the silence between then stretching out painfully. Johnny didn’t say anything, didn’t try to break the tension because it was too heavy. It held too many implications and Renjun struggled through a deep breath before finally lifting his eyes to Johnny’s again. He reached out a trembling hand, curling his fingers into the collar of Johnny’s shirt. 

“Renjun-” Johnny said, lifting a hand to Renjun’s. 

“Just let me-” he cut himself off and even when Johnny’s hand rested on top of his he didn’t move it. He just let Renjun pull down the left side of his collar until his collarbone was visible and then the word. Two characters written on his skin, side by side, meaning so much more than Renjun let on. 

His fingers were shaking when he touched them, the black of the characters melting into his skin because that was where they belonged. It was a part of who Johnny was and knowing him as long as he had now, he knew it was the only word Johnny could ever carry. 사랑. Sarang. Love.

When Renjun felt Johnny’s fingers on the zipper of his hoodie he didn’t stop him. His hand fell away from Johnny’s shirt, Johnny unzipping his hoodie just enough to get to his shirt. Renjun was backed into a corner and no matter what he did he was going to give himself away so he didn’t do anything. He just let Johnny find his collar, pull it down on the left side, and find the word he had spent the last three and a half years trying to hide. 

Johnny gasped softly, touched his fingertips to the characters that mirrored his own, and Renjun grit his teeth against the fresh wave of tears that threatened to spill over. 

“I’m sorry,” Renjun gasped. Johnny’s eyes ripped away from his chest and met Renjun’s, glossy and blurred with tears. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He whispered. If Renjun could see straight he would think Johnny looked equally as emotional as he did but it was exceptionally hard with the tears in his eyes. 

“I- I- I was scared,” Renjun stuttered. “I didn’t know how to tell you. You’re my hyung and we work together and I didn’t think- I’m sorry.” 

“Come here,” Johnny said, and didn’t wait for an answer, tugging Renjun into his chest. 

It wasn’t the first time they had hugged but it felt like it. It felt like he was hugging Johnny for the first time in his entire life when Johnny wrapped his arms around Renjun’s shoulders, tucking him against his chest. Renjun buried his face in Johnny’s shoulder, arms circling his middle as Johnny tried to hush him. Renjun had no idea how loud he might’ve been, sobbing into Johnny’s shirt, tears dripping freely as Johnny pet his hair and kissed his temple, cooing in an attempt to soothe him. 

When Renjun finally disentangled himself from Johnny he wiped at his cheeks again, letting out a little wet laugh. 

“What?” Johnny asked, a hesitant smile hovering against his lips as he fixed Renjun’s hair for him, adjusting his shirt and hoodie. 

“I didn’t mean I get so emotional. I always thought meeting the person who shared my word would be emotional but I didn’t think I’d cry like this,” Renjun said, Johnny also letting out a little laugh. “Are you mad?” 

“No,” Johnny said. “I’m not. I don’t think I could be. I- I never thought I’d meet them, you, I guess,” he said, a sheepish smile on his lips. “You know, my mom used to tell me this legend. About the last couple that both had… our word. That when they met, the world-” 

“The world stood still,” Renjun continued. “Their love was the purest love. A love so true that not even-” 

“Not even death could break it.” Johnny finished. “Your parents told you too?” 

“I think it’s just an urban legend now. My mother used to tell me that. And she always said, ‘never again has there been such a love as theirs for no two people who shared the word have met since that time,’” Renjun recited for memory. He asked his mother to tell him the story time and time again until his mother sighed and said, “aren’t you too old for tall tales?” but sat down and told him the story one last time. 

“No two people… until now,” Johnny pointed out. “My parents said the same thing. I… I guess a part of me never thought I’d find you because it seemed so impossible. What are the odds?” 

“About 7 billion to one,” Renjun told him, and Johnny shook his head at him. “I… I’ve known. Since training. I met you… forever ago it seems like, in the locker room in the dorm gym. I saw it. And I… I’ve been too scared to say anything. I thought I just… I couldn’t. How could I? But I saw you tonight and I just… I shouldn’t have but I got so mad.” 

“I get it,” Johnny assured him. “I can’t imagine how you felt. If I had known… if I had been in your shoes… I would have been terrified,” Johnny insisted. “You had every right and I’m sorry.” 

“You didn’t know,” Renjun reminded him. “I just- I want you to be careful. My… I guess, soulmate or not,” Johnny took in a sharp breath but didn’t correct him, “I worry about you and I’m not the only one. Please take of yourself.” 

“I will,” Johnny assured him. “I’m sorry about what I said, and I meant it when I said it earlier too. I shouldn’t have scolded you, I should’ve taken what you were saying seriously. I’m sorry.” 

“I have to apologize to Yuta hyung, though,” Renjun mumbled, playing with the ends of his sleeves. 

“Yeah,” Johnny admitted. “He was pretty upset about that. You should apologize.” 

“I will,” Renjun assured him. “We should go up, though, you must be tired.” 

“More now than I was previously,” Johnny said, getting to his feet. Renjun let out a little laugh. 

“It’s the emotional exhaustion,” Renjun informed him, getting up as well. “Let’s get you to bed,” Renjun told him, turning him around to steer him back to the dorm. 

“Will you sleep with me tonight?” Johnny asked, reaching a hand back. Renjun took it with a little grimace, Johnny reaching out to swat at him, Renjun darting away from his hand. 

“Forward, aren’t you?” Renjun joked, getting a playfully scandalized look from Johnny for it. 

“I meant just sleep but if you’re gonna be like that you can sleep in the dream dorms by yourself,” Johnny retorted, Renjun bumping his shoulder into his arm as they headed back up to the dorms. 

Everyone was still in the 127 dorm when they returned. The tension from earlier seemed to have dissipated, but when Renjun met Yuta’s eyes, he purposefully got up and walked into the kitchen. Renjun sighed, leaving Johnny’s side to follow after him while Johnny announced that he was going to bed. Johnny headed to his room, a silent safe haven from the rest of the dorm having turned into its normal loud ruckus with the concern from earlier having disappeared. It was refreshing to not have everyone’s attention focused on him in such a heavy manner at the very least. He gave them about half an hour before people started crawling into their beds again, exhausted from promos. 

He spent way too much time scrolling through his Instagram explore page while lying in his bed, tired but not enough that he could fall asleep yet. Johnny lowered his phone a bit when the door opened, half expecting Donghyuck but seeing a smaller silhouette coming in the room, pushing the door shut quietly. Johnny closed his phone, turning onto his side to face him, Renjun turning around a second later. 

“I thought you were going to bed,” Renjun whispered, the darkness of the room causing him to want to whisper despite it being only the two of them in the room. 

“I was. I was waiting for you,” Johnny replied, setting his phone on the bedside table. “You said you would sleep with me,” he whined, over-exaggerated. 

“Is this going to be a thing?” Renjun complained but crossed the room and slipped under the blankets with him anyway. 

“I just wanted more time with you tonight,” Johnny mumbled, reaching out for him. Renjun scooted closer, Johnny’s hand finding purchase on his waist. It was easy to tug Renjun in closer, so much smaller and lighter than some of the other members. “I feel like I have so many questions but I don’t know what they’d be,” Johnny admitted, curling over Renjun, resting his chin on the top of his head. 

“Then don’t worry about it. You need your sleep,” Renjun reminded him. He pressed his forehead against Johnny’s collarbone. “Go to sleep.” 

“Can I ask you one question?” 

Renjun sighed. 

“Go ahead.” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Johnny moved back, knowing Renjun was going to look up at him quickly. In the dark, it was hard to make out but Renjun’s eyes were always so pretty, sparkly even in the non-light of the room. Johnny moved his hand to cup Renjun’s cheek, brushing his thumb over the sharp of his cheekbone. 

“Something something, true love or whatever,” Johnny tried to make a joke and Renjun let out a huff of a laugh, rolling his eyes. “I just want to try. You can say no.” 

“No, it’s- it’s okay,” Renjun agreed. “You can kiss me.” 

Johnny tilted his head up just a little more, Renjun still looking up at him with his gorgeous, shining eyes. Johnny thought it would be weirder, even just thinking about it for the few minutes that he had, kissing Renjun. But Renjun had always been a bit more than what met the eye, the little more intense, a little more adult and his eyes glanced down to his lips, pretty pink lips that he was realizing he really wanted to feel against his own. 

Renjun’s eyes fluttered closed so gently and Johnny pressed his lips to Renjun’s, sweetly, chastely.

It was only a moment but when he pulled back he leaned in again immediately, chasing the feeling of Renjun’s lips against his. Renjun let out a little giggle into his mouth, kissing him back. Johnny slid his hand back into his hair, holding him a little firmer, Renjun’s fingers tangling into the hem of his shirt. Renjun was a good kisser, he noticed. 

He pulled back this time and made an effort to actually pull all the way back. So close to Renjun and Johnny felt light-headed, giddy. It was such a silly feeling but it was one he wanted to chase, to experience again and again just because he could. Because it was an option for him now. 

“Everything you hoped it would be?” Renjun joked, his eyes opening again. 

“Better,” Johnny replied and Renjun snorted, turning over. He did, however, scoot back towards Johnny. Johnny wrapped himself around Renjun’s back, pressing a kiss to the back of his head before resting his own head on the pillow. “Good night, Injunnie.” 

“Good night, hyung.”

**Author's Note:**

> i dunno, i just felt really soft today so you're welcome
> 
>   
> [twt](https://twitter.com/sofarsoperfect)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/sofarsoperfect)


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